I have been meaning to write this blog for some time now but as we come to the one month mark with our newest addition, I finally have been able to slow done enough to write it, so here it goes. Most people, including my prior self, do not have to worry about their children’s previous relationships. The mom (and dad) are the first relationship, the one who teaches how to love and be loved and they are in control of who has an influence in their child’s life. However, with our new daughter this was not the case. I was not her first relationship and I had no control over who had been in her life prior nor been able to protect her from the ugly world. There was another lady. A lady she calls Mama. I’ll admit the fleshly part of me felt torn between loving this person and being jealous of her… until I met her. Never have I been more grateful for a lady than this lady that my daughter calls Mama. She is in her late 60’s maybe early 70’s with a quiet spirt and a lot of wisdom. She has raised over 50 kids and then given then up to their forever homes. She told me it breaks her heart each time but that she is so happy to see them go to their moms and dads. She has children all across the globe; US, Honduras, Spain, and France are a few of the places she mentioned. Always getting the children as infants and then raising them until they are ready to be adopted, such as in our daughter’s case. She received our baby when she was 6 days old and gave her to us when Isabella was 2 years 10 months old. She got up around the clock to feed my baby, she held her hands as Isabella learned to walk and she taught her her first words. All these little milestones are left blank in our baby book since we were not there to witness them; however, each were watched and nourished with love and care by Mama. When we first met, she had prepared Isabella that her new mom and dad were coming and we were greeted at the door by the cutest black haired beauty who said, “Hola, Mama” and then tried to figure out who Mama was. Mama Daisy, as we now call her, sat and told me Isabella’s schedule, her likes and her dislikes, what size clothes she wore, etc. I will admit that finding out about your child’s likes and dislikes from someone else is strange but I am thankful that she loved my child enough to know these things and that she wanted the transition to be smooth. She patiently answered all my questions and told me to call her anytime. She allowed Isabella to take her favorite baby doll so she would have it to sleep with. This may not seem like a big deal but most people that I talked to were able to take nothing from their foster homes, even the clothes the child was wearing must be returned. It is invaluable to be able to have a piece her childhood to keep and remember this part of her life and how very special her Mama Daisy was and is to her.
I give a lot of credit to Mama Daisy for Isabella’s temperament and sweet nature. I was terrified after IHNFA told us that Isabella was very close to her foster mom and that we should prepare for hard times. This is not the news I thought I wanted to hear. However, like so many other things, God was in control. Like every new mother, I read all the books and scoured the internet for adoption blogs. All of this prepared me for the worst. I was prepared for a child who couldn’t bond, who would cry about food and not sleep, who would not want anything to do with her new parents and who had lived in a horrible place. What I got instead, was a little girl who loved her Mama dearly and still misses her but is very well adjusted and ready to love her new family. She eats anything put in front of her regardless of whether it is American or Honduran, she tells us when she is tired and goes to bed without a fight (weird right?), she can’t get enough hugs in a day, she cries when corrected no matter how gentle our tone is, she LOVES her new siblings and her daddy and now has what the Hondurans laughingly call “Mamitis” (she is a mommies girl.) I know realize that this is all due to her relationship with her first mom and how close they were. Because our child had a great mom who showed her love and taught her to love, she was able to transfer that love to her new family. This is not to say there have not been hard times, but overall she has adjusted great and is a very happy little girl. For this tenderhearted, laid back child I thank God and Mama Daisy, as I know they have both played a huge part in her life. I had written in a previous blog that I wondered who was caring for my baby girl while she was not in our home. I now know, that for the last 2 years and 10 months, God placed her in the loving arms of a lady who will forever hold a place in our daughter’s heart (and mine). Thank you Mama Daisy for the love you gave my daughter and for pouring your time and energy into this very special little girl.