True Rest

Ten days since I have moved to Gracias and I already feel as if it’s moving so fast. This summer before I moved was overwhelming and crazy busy. There wasn’t a lot of time to really sit back and process everything. Even when I got that time to process, I felt restless. There was this constant need to be busy. The moments I got with the Lord alone, I felt as if my prayers weren’t thorough enough, especially as I was about to move away for a mission. I wondered a lot if I was truly ready to do what the Lord has wanted me to do here. I felt ill-equipped and scattered across the board.

So my first week was really strange, a little more difficult than I expected since this is my fourth time to be here. I felt like it would’ve taken more time for things to sink in, but that wasn’t the case. I spent last week trying to just feel comfortable anywhere. When I say comfortable, I mean within myself. I just felt really out of place and afraid to just be. Change freaks me out at first, especially knowing that this is what I call home now for a while.

After about two days of getting rested and situated, I began helping sort through receipts and organizing certain accounts for the organization. There’s still work to be done for sure. The team has had a crazy busy summer, so when I arrived, they were all exhausted. This is why the ministry had requested for Jimmy Storrie to come down to facilitate a short retreat for our team. He is a counselor that leads a ministry called “Life Recovered”. I will go into more detail about the ministry as I explain. For me, I felt as if I didn’t really need the retreat, or at least not as much as the rest of the team. I thought that it was more for them that have been working extensively to serve churches from the states and many other facets of ministry. However, the point of this retreat was not to vacation or to get away from work. It was an awesome time of spiritual growth.

The book we read over the two days is called “The Way of the Heart” by Henri J. M. Nouwen. I would recommend every believer to read it. It changed my entire outlook on the Sabbath and prayer. Really, it gave me the tools I’ve needed for so long and has freed me up from the bonds of having to perform or do enough. It was exactly what I needed to read to learn how to truly rest in Him, and enjoy it. Not restlessly praying and then feeling guilty when other things are on my mind or half-heartedly reciting what prayer I know I need to pray. There was nothing but me and Him and it was exactly what I needed. Many questions and frustrations that I have had with communicating with God dissipated. I couldn’t have asked for a better start of this year in Honduras.

We left our phones with Jimmy and just enjoyed the Lord individually. When we got together, we learned about each other’s personalities and our team personality. We learned how to communicate with one another and learned about our own gifts. I have learned so much about the team I’m working with, which I think will be so beneficial as conflicts arise. No family, ministry, or Godly organization is perfect, which is why it is important to communicate openly and be transparent. I feel as if we have been given the tools to operate better as a team.

Today Jimmy hosted his ministry conference with local pastors around Gracias to educate them on how to take care of themselves in every way. I think it’s incredible what Life Recovered is doing to pour into ministers, leaders, pastors, etc. Many of the Honduran pastors had never heard a teaching on it before and responded very positively to it. For once, they got to learn how to take instead of always giving. After the conference, many stayed for lunch before having to travel back to their separate villages. I got to meet all of them and was very glad to!

Overall, my heart is just happy. It’s that simple. I have been incredibly encouraged and am grateful to serve the team. What I’m looking forward to next is to meet many of the villages around. There are so many I have yet to meet and I can’t wait. For now, we strategize, we plan, and the team that has been running on empty in many ways gets to recoup for the next tasks at hand. I’m just glad to be here to help in any way that I can.

Published August 29, 2017