I hate asking for help. I am not entirely sure if it is a pride issue or an insecurity issue. Honestly, it’s probably both. Whatever it is, at the end of the day I avoid help like the plague. With that said, I can ask for help with more minor things. I don’t mind someone helping me change a flat tire on my car, because honestly, I’m not sure I can get the tightly screwed lug nuts off by myself. The areas I hate asking for help in are much deeper and more personal.
Truthfully, I find it challenging to face the emotions I have when it comes to asking for help. There is a vulnerability when it comes to seeking help outside of yourself. I would have to acknowledge being incapable of being able to control the situation. Not only that, but I would be inviting people in to see me powerless and scared. Failure would laugh in my face and others would be there to witness it. Therefore, I “bravely” hold onto what I am facing alone. The weight of my burdens that I decide to keep is heavy. Still, I hold onto things because if I talk about my worries, insecurities, fears, and emotions, they will overwhelm me.
Avoidance becomes my best friend and my worst enemy. The lie of avoidance is this, “If I don’t tell others how I am feeling, then I don’t have to confront the uncomfortable. If I don’t confront the uncomfortable, then my problems aren’t really there.” Well, let me be the first to tell you that lie is absolute rubbish. Yet, I still struggle with it. I find myself instinctively choosing to bear my burdens alone, and I also find myself suffering alone.
At some point, we will all be faced with burdens that are too heavy for us to carry on our own. Life circumstances quickly show us that seeking help outside of ourselves is necessary even if it is undesirable. During Jesus’ earthly ministry, many people looked to different things to help alleviate their burdens. They looked to status, money, relationships, and religion (many of the things they sought help with are similar, if not the same, as where we seek help today). Yet, they still found that their souls were in want of something more.
What they needed and what we need wasn’t a thing, it was and is a person: Jesus. The only way we can truly help ourselves is to humbly recognize that we cannot. To be honest, this sucks, but it is exactly where Jesus wants us to be. When it comes to following Christ, all he asks is that you come as you are, mess and all. He doesn’t tell us that we have to clean up our act for him to even consider helping us. Jesus tells us in Matthew 11:28-30, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened.” I don’t know about you, but I’ve been weary. I’ve been burdened. I am weary. I am burdened. He then goes on to say to those who come to him, “…you will find rest for your souls.”
Recently, I have been overwhelmed. Emotions have started rising to the surface that I don’t want to deal with. In the midst of feeling helpless, I decided that I wanted something different. I made a list of what was causing me to feel overwhelmed. As I looked at my list, I realized that there were people who could help me in some of the areas that were causing stress and anxiety. People who God has lovingly placed in my life. So, I humbled myself and asked for help. Some of the things on my list I am still struggling with. They aren’t easy fixes. Yet, there were other things I was able to overcome with help.
I know that God doesn’t want us to live our lives weary and burdened, but sometimes I don’t believe that.
God has started challenging me to come rest in Him. He is reminding me that I can find rest for my soul and that I don’t have to suffer alone. You don’t have to suffer alone either. Trust me, I know it is hard to ask for help, but the love that you’ll encounter from God will bring healing.