My name is Hannah Williamson. I am from Fort Worth, Texas and I am currently finishing up my first year of teaching at Abundant Life Christian School in Honduras. Next year I am excited to join the 61 Isaiah team as their Field Logistics Coordinator. I was first introduced to 61 Isaiah Ministries after my junior year of college when I served as a summer missionary. Since then I’ve graduated college and served as an on campus missionary at Howard Payne University for a year until I moved to Honduras. Being a teacher has been challenging and growing in multiple ways and I’m thankful to have had this opportunity. Next year I’m excited to see what the Lord has in store as I begin full time ministry with 61 Isaiah.
Welcome to the team, Spencer!
Hello all, my name is Spencer Wolverton. I was fortunate to grow up in a Christian home. I accepted Christ at a young age because of love. My parents modeled Christ to me in the way that they loved me. John 13:35 says, “By this everyone will know that you are mine by how you love one another.” After accepting Christ, I became aware of two different types of love. One that is restrictive, dependent on accomplishments, and expectation. The other is vast, deep, and never ending. It is patient, kind, and does not envy. It does not boast, and it is not proud. It does not insist on its own way, nor is it irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). See what kind of love the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are (1 John 2:19). I wanted that kind of love, and so my mother sat me down and made sure that I understood the decision I was making. She told me that all had fallen short of the glory of God, and that God did not send His son into the world to condemn it, but to save it.
Throughout the next several years of my life the Lord taught me many things and continuously guided my path by opening and shutting doors. Eventually the Lord lead me to Howard Payne University, where many other hard lessons were learned. It was at Howard Payne that I became aware of 61 Isaiah. Shannon approached me in October about working for the organization, but I shrugged the conversation away. I had already made up my mind on what my future would look like, and Honduras wasn’t it. However, God kept bringing up Honduras which led to many conversations with Him about obedience and having joy in my obedience. This next year I am looking forward to working for 61 Isaiah as the Communication Director. My purpose will be to communicate what God is doing and invite others around the globe to participate in what the Lord is doing in and through the core values and strategy of 61 Isaiah Ministries. I ask that you would be praying for me as I follow God in obedience, that He would give me the words to communicate throughout this job. Pray that these words would be filled with love and not manipulation. For the love of Christ compels us, because we have concluded this; that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised (2 Corinthians 4:10).
A New Season
It’s been a couple of weeks since I have been back to Honduras. I was glad to get to go home and spend time with family and friends for a while. I already miss them, but know there are several things to prepare for in the next couple of weeks. I’m ready to take on whatever comes!
Now it’s back to finishing what the Lord has started, and I’m pretty expectant to see what happens. It’s been a while since I’ve posted an update. For many reasons I have struggled with what to say. Because if I’m honest, it hasn’t been easy. It’s gotten more difficult as time as gone on. The newness of it all has worn off for the most part, but I’m sensing a new season beginning here. There have been many changes, some that I’m a bit apprehensive to adjust to. I feel completely out of my element. Even more so than I did when I first arrived ironically. The first two months were really an adjustment and just trying to get comfortable anywhere. Now I am full of questions concerning the future. The questions could go on and on. Really, it’s been just me challenging Him a lot. Questioning His motives, making sure He knows that I’m, well, me and am too structured to be here. Or too narrow-minded, or too weak. Oh and I want things! Yeah, I want things and have desires so I like to remind Him of that too. Like He doesn’t already know. It got more confusing as I went home, seeing other options open up, and realizing how much I am missing in regards to spending time with my family. It’s only been hard because I am a person who likes to plan and know the next step. For anybody that walks closely to the Lord, you will realize that He will ask you to drop your plans sometimes. He will ask you to drop everything and trust Him. It can be scary, but also relieving once you just give everything over and let Him do it. He kind of knows what to do right?
So all of this in regards to ministry and trying to figure out what I’m really fully called to do has been difficult. It’s been a mental war that I’ve been fighting for weeks. You could probably gather just from those questions how much this has caused me to fear. It has made me fearful to invest, fearful to get too close, and always looking for the greener grass somewhere else. I have had to be reminded of the fact that He clearly called me here over a year ago. God has been so gracious to me here too. I have never felt so close to Him in my life, because I depend on Him in a different way now. I have seen Him give me the grace to get through each day over and over again. It hasn’t been easy, and I ask for your prayers because I’m battling. And in the midst of my personal battles, there has been so much change here for the past couple of weeks. Before I left to return to the states, the political climate here was pretty heated. Riots were breaking out, causing panic and chaos in many of the bigger cities. We were under a nationwide curfew for a couple of days, which limited our opportunities to work with others here. I am glad to say that everything has calmed down for the most part and we can start meeting with villages again. We will begin preparing for several teams to come down here and serve within the next couple of months. I also am excited about the possibility of a young woman, Aaliyah, coming here to serve with us in March! Please keep all of the teams and Aaliyah in your prayers. I know that these next few months will definitely fly by as we prep and stay busy. Along with all of this, I am looking forward to the opportunities of teaching. My need for the Word has increased since I’ve come back, and I am glad to be able to join others in studying the Bible. The Lord has been showing me how much I really need to depend on Him to do anything. This is not an easy process, but I am falling more in love with studying His Word because of the struggle. I can’t be more thankful for the ways that He is equipping me as more opportunities to serve here are opening up. I have begun meeting with a student here too and can’t wait to see how God works through our study together. I don’t doubt that the Lord will use that time for each of us to learn more about Him and to share Him with others. I’m also looking forward to teaching a class at the bilingual school soon! I will be temporarily teaching a Psychology class while Kristi has surgery in the states. Keep her in your prayers for the next 6 weeks!
***Please also keep the village of Cenicera in your prayers as they are mourning the loss of a young boy, Raul. He joined us for children’s church almost every Sunday. I can’t imagine the grief his family must be feeling, as well as Melyssa and Frank who have known him for the past three years.***
I am grasping more than any other lesson that I have ever learned is that nothing is profitable or fulfilling without the leading of the Holy Spirit in my life. He really makes it easy to trust. He’ll give you the grace and faith to do whatever He asks you to do. Truly. If there’s something that you’re fighting, struggling with, striving for, or hurting over, give it to Him. He wants your full trust and does the rest. I just want to encourage anybody and everybody to trust in a faithful God in a fragile world. Trust Him over the fragile state of your heart. He knows best. I’ve been coming to a point where I crave nothing more than to be near Him, no matter where He takes me. I am hopeful that this will only lead others to desire Him as well, in whatever way He wishes to accomplish that. Thank you all who have been praying for me and this ministry. I am grateful to you all. 2018 will be a great year!
My scripture for 2018:
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6
Though I lack…
Posted by MCCAYLA FLEMING on OCTOBER 29, 2017
Life in Honduras has been different for sure. There’s so much happening here. It all seems to run together when I try to recall all that I’ve seen. There are so many small moments and events that have happened. It’s easy to get in a certain mindset to where you become desensitized to everything. What always puts it all back into perspective for me is when I hear the Gospel being shared. I’ve seen a few people come to Christ, and I can’t express to you the emotions that I felt to see them come forward in faith. I’ve seen these moments, while I’ve seen others simply praying through their struggles. It is truly a privilege to get to pray with them. What I’m learning in ministry, is that brokenness takes on many forms, and reaches every aspect of life that it can grab a hold of. I’ve seen brokenness in expected forms, and brokenness in unexpected forms. What I know for certain, people are people. We are all broken.
I think that’s what I want others to understand more than anything. Though there are differences, it really isn’t completely different from home for me because broken people are everywhere. I’m able to say this because I have gotten past the physical appearances of circumstances. I don’t walk in a village anymore solely worrying about how they eat or how they live the way they do. Not to say that I don’t care about those things, because of course I do. But what I’m saying is that there are even more pressing issues in their own minds. Broken families, split churches, past wounds, a series of abandonment for many, and hearts thirsting for more. Just like any of us who thirst for more. There is a story behind every face, and depth to every problem.
I guess that’s the point I’m trying to make. I don’t expect to come into a person’s life to fix their problems. I think that’s the stereotype of missionaries. We’re supposed to go in and “fix” problems and put a band-aid over things. We come in, build homes, feed people, offer medical assistance, and leave feeling as if that’s all they needed. Those are all wonderful things, but they are only truly worthy when the goal is to make Jesus known. For any other reason, they are just good deeds. If what we do is without love, we are truly nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:2) And if I truly love people, I would offer them a drink from the well that would forever satisfy their thirst…
We don’t have the ability to fix people, and to think that way will always be humbling. I don’t have anything to offer anybody but Jesus. Anything good in me is because of Him. I think the hardest part of ministry for me is worrying about performance/results. I think often that I’m not doing enough because I’m not called to preach, I don’t share the Gospel everyday because I don’t have the language, I don’t know if I have anything to contribute, I don’t know if I’ll be able to connect with somebody, and I don’t think that I have anything to relate to with others. You know what I keep seeing in that last sentence is “I” and all the ways in which I lack. Shows how much I have. So even in ministry, even being in a foreign country depending on the Lord, I let myself get in the way all the time. I can’t explain to you how disappointed that I’ve been with myself, but God is GOOD. So good, and I don’t want to get in the way of how He wants to use and shape me. I want to see others be shaped by Him too because it really is beautiful. Painful, but wow is it worth it. I can look back, see the person that I was years ago, and am thankful all over again for the ways that God has dealt with me. I have found my joy in sharing with other people the goodness of God.
If any of you are discouraged in your walk, me too. Sometimes I feel lonely, unworthy, and can see all of my faults in my face. It’s frustrating. But what I truly want, the very thing that is deeply rooted in my heart, is to see others come to know Jesus. The greatest desire that I have is to be able to look at others and to feel nothing but a fiery desire for them to know Him. I’m praying for that persistently.
So that basically means saying goodbye to my feelings, or making excuses as to why I can’t initiate conversation, and goodbye to all the reasons that I can’t move forward due to my past. I can truly say goodbye to it all. It’s hard to believe because I’ve seen myself at my worst and that keeps coming to the surface, but I want to leave my past behind and press forward…
I know God has me here to serve this ministry. Help them with the day-to-day tasks, help with the financial tracking, and to help plan trips. These things and to join them on the field. That is what I came to help here with, and if can’t do the simple tasks out of love, I am nothing. The opportunities that I have had to get to know people and to simply walk with them has been great. I hardly know how to share it with others back home, because it really is a collection of small moments and interactions. I hope to build relationships with others to the point that I can share more with them. I’m thankful to be here and to have met so many different people here. They are beautiful people. I’m thankful to be apart of an amazing ministry here that chooses to walk alongside people, make disciples, raise up leaders, and share the Gospel. I hope this is encouraging to somebody who may feel like they are not doing enough. God wants to shape you, He’s never through with you, and He wants to use you despite the ways you lack.
I want to mention to you a few people that I would like others to pray for. Alex is a nine year-old boy who is from a village called Rancho Obispo. He can hardly use his voice, and we have taken him to a doctor a few times. Every time he has put up a fight and is too afraid to let the doctor examine his throat. Please pray for him as he possibly receives treatment in the future. I would also ask for you to pray for a woman named Estella. She is an older woman in San Pedrito, who has an amazing amount of faith, but is very sick and can’t get out of bed. I have been touched by her sweet words the few times that I’ve been around her. Finally, I ask that you would pray for Cenicera. This village is special. I love all of the villages but there’s something about this particular village that I feel led to pray for. Please pray for their church and for God to bring a pastor to them soon.
Thank you for reading!
Letting Go
Wow. So much has already happened since my last update! I have been serving in the office of course, but within the past week or so I have gotten to be out on the field more. I have gotten to meet more people in multiple villages, which has been great. Especially since I am learning and practicing Spanish. I have been more confident in initiating conversations and letting myself make mistakes in speaking. That really is the only way I will learn. I know I will learn if I continue to use what I know in as many situations as possible.
I got to practice a little bit with a woman named Luisa, who is from a village called Catulaca. She came to help prepare meals for workers with Melyssa and I. There were two days of work on the hunger farm that required men from multiple villages to come out and serve. Over time, it is our hope to see leaders take it upon themselves to care for their communities by running the hunger farm. We had about twenty men come and work for two days so that they can earn food, but also work for future families in need. It was a special time for me to get to know Luisa, as much as I could anyways. She is one of the sweetest women I have ever met, and would continue to talk to me even if I couldn’t respond. We would just laugh and carry on with cooking. By the end of the day, I know I made a friend. It was really special just to be doing an everyday task with her. That’s what I’ve realized since being here. Walking with them through the day-to-day tasks mean more to them than anything else we could give.
Another special memory that I have is when I celebrated Children’s day in a village called Cenicera. This is a village that is actually the closest to town, but ironically the poorest of all of them. Even more of a problem is the breakdown of families in villages, including this one. I was informed that the children here don’t get shown affection much, so it was really awesome that the village hosted their own celebration for the children. We got to simply show up and celebrate with them. I really love children and have never had a difficult time connecting with them. There were many sweet moments I shared with a little girl named Stephanie, who wanted to sit in my lap the entire time. It truly is the little things that go a long way for kids, but my heart was also happy to spend that time with her and a few others.
Two amazing events took place in a village called Chimis, which was a village that I had never met before. The first day that I went with Shannon and Edith, we were speaking to three couples that were planning to get married the following weekend. Here it is not considered a priority or even a possibility for people to get married in the villages. The church in Chimis was ready to split about a year ago because of the disagreements within it. They fought over who should be leading. Our ministry lightly intervened and has been teaching those who want to lead what the Bible requires of them. This teaching has led these couples to get married so that they can make those covenant vows in front of God, and be credible leaders in the church. More importantly, it has led nineteen people to be saved and baptized. It was a humbling few days to see a church that was once divided, celebrate together. My favorite part was getting to walk with two small boys back up the mountain after the baptisms. That made for an interesting hike! Haha. They each held a hand of mine as we navigated around mud and steep rocks. One of them would slip and I would have to let go of one that was safe to keep the other one up. They would grab my hand again as soon as my hand was free. It was so sweet how much they wanted me to just walk with them. It painted a simple picture of how God loves us and how patient He is with us when we slip and fall, let go of His hand, and how much it pleases Him when we reach out for Him again. Those boys stole my heart!!!
There are many other moments I could share. Little moments like walking up the mountain with those small children, preparing meals (basically learning how to cook at all), and hugging new people within the first moment of meeting them. That’s what I love about people here. Those that want friendships and want to be close, will definitely reach out for it. Many are vulnerable and compassionate, and choose relationships over tasks. Their culture is rich with emotion and boldness. I love so many aspects of it and it’s hard to narrow it down to a statement. I’m thankful for the opportunities to learn and grow from them. I may have been called here to serve, but in many ways, I am also growing to be more like Christ. I can’t do it without relationships here. I can’t learn more about God without learning how to love people. There’s so much to learn from people here.
I am also thankful to have somebody here who is willing to teach me Spanish! Cynthia has already proved to be a strict teacher, but only because she knows that I want to learn it. I’m so glad that she wants to hold me accountable to study and really apply myself. I also cannot express my gratitude for the team I get to be apart of. They have really encouraged me and have made me feel welcome here. They are giving me opportunities to serve and learn. They have asked each of us to set six goals for the next couple of months, and I am praying and thinking on what I should be focused on while here. It’s easy to float around and just do the tasks needed, but I also want to invest my time wisely.
One goal that I have is to of course learn Spanish! At least enough to be able carry on more in-depth conversations. Especially if I am to ever share the Gospel to others. This is a need of mine. Please pray for me to stay focused and work hard amongst other things I will be doing here. The second goal I have is to be more involved with the school here. Not only do I love kids, but I also have a desire to encourage the youth. I know how hard it is to find your way through those years. I hope to be able to start a bible study and/or mentor young girls there. That will take me being around the school more and developing those relationships naturally. I look forward to making new friends there. Those are the two goals that are set in stone for now. I have one small one like “go to the store by yourself and speak the Spanish you know”, because I have been very timid to make myself look stupid here. But really, making mistakes is the only way I can learn to speak it. I actually didn’t want to share something that I had written a few weeks ago, but I feel that it definitely shows the struggle within myself.
“Fear is claustrophobic. That’s the word I kept thinking of in reference to how I’ve felt the past few weeks. I couldn’t put my finger on why I’ve felt that way though. On-going, churning anxiety because everything is different. I speak a little Spanish, enough to get where I need to go or to ask somebody a few questions, but I’ve never really understood the fear and frustration of not being apart before. I thought I had, but I truly haven’t until I got here. Fear really is claustrophobic. It won’t let up, won’t let you breathe, and will tell you anything to keep you where it wants you. It’ll weaken you until you wonder why you’re even doing what you’re doing. I’ve been feeling so small. Though it isn’t true, fear is hand-in-hand with pride, and pride can convince you of anything. It’s not comfortable, so I’m not made for it. It’s not easy, so maybe I wasn’t meant to do it. I feel completely wrong for this place, so maybe I was wrong. But you know, I’ve come to realize that that’s exactly why I’m here. It seems foolish that I’m here trying to build relationships with people who speak a different language, when I’m still afraid of building relationships back home. It’s completely uncomfortable, which makes me angry inside, leading to pride that says, ‘Resist change.’ Once I realize what my heart is saying, I’m disappointed in myself for the feelings and for being ungrateful. But I know God doesn’t even want me to dwell on the feelings or the fact that I’m uncomfortable. He doesn’t want me to give up because it’s hard or because I’ve stopped believing. He just wants me to turn to Him and say, ‘I believe’. I’ve learned that it’s as simple as that sometimes. Repentance is changing your mind, not wiping yourself clean. It’s always a choice. Everything comes down to whether you believe in God or not. For my situation, I believe. I believe because I know only He frees me from the fear. I know His heart and know that He’s already overcome it all. I just have to believe.”
Getting to the heart of it (or really of me), I have wrestled with many different emotions already. Though this has been hard at times, it has proven to be a really great thing. My weaknesses truly have been a vessel for God to share His grace with me. My dependency on Him has increased tremendously because of the many things I have had to let go of since I’ve arrived. The things that I have had to let go of are all the ways in which I have tried to plan out my life. There has been complete surrender here in my heart. I am working on my walk with Him, ensuring that I acknowledge my need for Him every moment of every day. I have learned that I can do nothing apart from Him, and cannot trust my feelings to lead me. I have had to place my hope completely in Him concerning my struggles here, my longing to see my family and friends, and the future. Everything is about Him. Pray for me when you think about it, because I need all the prayers I can get. God is up to many things here, and I’m so thankful to be a small part of it. Above all, I am learning to let go and to not resist change. To learn, I have to be transparent.
Published September 27, 2017