I have often heard people say, “The Lord spoke to me.” I have also heard people say they made a decision based off what the Lord told them. For me that has always been “cool” but I didn’t fully understand what they meant. The way I always “heard” the Lord was through reading the Bible, until the day I was faced with a mental battle before translating a sermon.
I Begged God
Every Sunday, or most Sundays, I translate at one of the different village churches we partner with. After COVID and spending too much time by myself overthinking everything, I started to think, or rather the enemy led me to think, “I was unworthy of what I was doing.” That Sunday, I truly felt I was unworthy of being there for many reasons. The entire time at church through offering, prayer, and worship I begged God to send somebody else to translate or for Shannon to preach in Spanish, because I was not worthy of standing up there and translating. At first I begged God to do it, then I told Him I didn’t want to do it. I wanted to hear His word however, I did not want to be in front translating for everyone because I was not worthy.
I Heard a Voice
That night right before Pastor Laudelino introduced us I heard a voice saying, “It’s not about you, it’s about the people that need to hear My Word.” Something changed in me, made me want to get up and translate. I know it was God because it turned my restless and jumbled mind into one at rest and at peace. I still think I don’t deserve to be used by Him, but I know He will use me anyway. He is making me part of something big; He gave me a second language for a reason. He put me where I am because that is where He wants me. I don’t deserve so many things but His love is so big, so much bigger than my thoughts, fears, sin, and struggles. I know battles are hard but thank God for those battles that make us face His love and mercy, that make us get back onto the right track and realize that He is right there, fighting the good fight with us.
Now I can say, “God talked to me.” He gave me peace when I needed it. He made me strong when I was feeling very weak. He is still making me strong, that is for sure, through COVID, a weird disease, and through family and people that never let me fall.
Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”